In cartoons, the main character is often shown with an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other, each offering opposing advice. But I think that image misses the mark.
We don’t have an angel and a devil on our shoulders. Instead, we have a Warrior and a Worrier.
The Warrior faces adversity, tries new things, and accepts challenges. The Worrier is consumed by fear and finds reasons to avoid anything new or uncomfortable. The Warrior says, “I want to learn to snow ski. I want to try out for the play. I want to meet new people.” The Worrier answers back, “Skiing is too cold. Theater is stupid. Why do I need new friends?”
Notice something important: the Worrier is clever. It rarely says, “I’m scared.” Instead, it offers excuses. And without trying, there’s no risk of failure, but also no opportunity to learn how to handle failure.
The Warrior looks at the world and sees opportunity.
The Worrier looks at the same world and sees limitations and fear.
For parents and youth development professionals, the goal is to feed the Warrior and starve the Worrier. Let me be clear: this does not mean encouraging reckless behavior. We focus on reasonable risks, one of our 5 R’s. These are challenges that feel uncomfortable and unfamiliar, but are safe and attainable.
Throughout the summer, every camper will experience Warrior/Worrier moments. Our hope is to create an environment that is supportive and loving enough to help campers listen to the Warrior, even when the Worrier is loud.
We want campers to try things even when success isn’t guaranteed. We want them to understand that the key to growth is trying, not winning. In fact, we want campers to experience failure at times, because failure teaches an essential lesson: with effort, persistence, and reflection, setbacks often lead to future success.
I’m reminded of Thomas Edison’s response when asked about his many “failures” while developing the light bulb:
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
It’s my hope that our campers leave with this belief.
It’s a mindset that sets them up for a remarkable life.
