After a session of record-high North Carolina heat, endless Gatorade, and lots of water activities, we are starting this new session out with a little “liquid sunshine.” The rain has actually been a nice reprieve, but we are already itching for the sun, which should be popping through later this afternoon. It’s a big day here; we just said goodbye to our 7th-, 8th-, and 10th-grade cabins as they took off on their backpacking and canoeing trips.
We intentionally send every cabin on an off-camp adventures during the first week to fast-track some great bonding time. They share adventures, face challenges, and celebrate successes out in the woods, always returning to camp ready to share their stories (which are usually well-embellished by the time they hit the dining hall).
Click here to read my previous blog about the intentionality behind these off-camp trips.
Two weeks goes by in a flash at camp. I know it can feel like an absolute eternity to a parent waiting patiently at home for any news of how their camper is doing, but out here, we are moving at a dead sprint! Because things develop so quickly, we spend the first few days deeply focused on building a strong cabin unit. Counselors spend dedicated time creating cabin contracts, establishing the “norms” of cabin life, and building individual connections with every camper.
But even the best-laid plans cannot (and shouldn’t) prevent friction.
During staff orientation, we deep-dive into Bruce Tuckman’s four stages of team development. We use this psychological model to help our staff guide campers through the natural lifecycle of a team: Forming, Storming, Norming, and Performing.
An essential, unavoidable part of this growth is the “Storming” phase. Put simply: cabins will have conflict. It’s an essential ingredient in forming a true team. Our campers come from completely different backgrounds, homes, and routines. While one camper may sleep best with a nightlight, their bunkmate might need pitch darkness. One camper may be neat and tidy, while another has absolutely no idea where their stinky socks ended up after mountain biking.
When that storming phase hits, our counselors are trained to lead campers through conflict with love, support, and boundaries. We teach them how to guide kids to lead with curiosity rather than defensiveness, working toward a shared goal: “We both want to sleep well tonight. How can you get total darkness while I still feel safe with my nightlight?”
So much of what is modeled for our kids in modern media is how to debate and win at any cost. At Pinnacle, we want to teach them how to have an actual dialogue when opinions vary.
Of course, our Head Counselors and Directors are always close by to step in when the conflict carries higher stakes. About ten years ago, a dear friend recommended the book Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High. It remains one of the most impactful books I’ve ever read. Because those tools are so vital, I spend three hours every single summer giving our leadership team a crash course in its principles. We discuss concrete techniques to help campers feel safe sharing their experiences with peers they may disagree with. We practice coaching methods that keep kids focused on the only question that matters in a disagreement: What is our shared goal, and how do we move toward it together?
“Storming” has actually ended up being one of my absolute favorite parts of being a camp director. I love watching campers and counselors navigate what feels, in the moment, like an insurmountable challenge, only to see them come out the other side more connected, more confident, and equipped with a life skill that will serve them long after the summer ends.
So, when your camper comes home and inevitably shares a story of a cabin disagreement or a challenging moment, I challenge you to ask them how they found a resolution. Praise them for working through those hard times. As you and I know so well, our job isn’t to prepare the road for our children; it’s to prepare our children for the road. The great news is that they are now one step closer to being ready for whatever comes their way.
